Stick Up a Bank Today!
And then after you’ve been arrested and you’re on trial act as nasty and unrepentant as you can, because the verdict you want is life without parole.
For an example of the benefits you might receive from such a sentence, consider the case of Illinois’s senior convict, the late William Heirens. Until he passed away earlier this year at the age of 83, he had been in prison since he was seventeen. His expenses to the state, including medical care, had reached $73,000 a year, paid (with no deductibles) by the taxpayers of Illinois. A reasonable guesstimate of what Illinois taxpayers spent on feeding, housing, doctoring and containing Mr. Heirens since he was sentenced in the early 1950s would be around $2 million and counting.
Mr. Heirens wasn’t alone, either. In Illinois, the total number of prisoners is increasing at the tiny rate of 0.07%, but the increase for the subset of prisoners older than 65 is a whopping 63.0%.
Is there a sudden spike in lawlessness among the senior set? Or can it be that the elderly with crushing medical expenses have learned to take advantage of this new retirement package?