That headline, of course, is meant to be sarcastic. You see, we do have a problem. Our Ma Dell upright created it, all by itself, and all of the wizardry of our ordinarily undefeatable Guru, Dick Smith, has been unable to it restore it to civilized behavior. So please tell me (and Dick). Have you ever had this particular trouble with a computer? If so, what did you do about it?
First it goes on nicely writing down my well-chosen words. Then, when I switch to another file, it flashes a blood-red sign in my face that starts with the threats, saying something like, “You get out of this file or we’ll make you wish you had! This file is reserved for Frederik Pohl to work on, so you leave it at once. Exit this file now!”
Nothing as deranged as this has ever turned up on any of the four other computers in the house. Just on the one that I write blog material on, so tell me, please. Has anybody got any help for a seriously demented computer?
Chris Hansen says:
I think that any solution would be more likely to emerge if you told us:
1) What program (title, version number) you are using to edit the file.
2) Do other people get this effect when they try to edit a file on this computer?
3) Was some major change made to the computer just before this started?
4) What version and model computer you are using.
To my somewhat educated eye, it seems to be a problem with file locking. By that, I mean the program feels that the file you’re editing is being used by you at some other time continuum. Perhaps you were editing it at one time and the computer died. When you turned the computer back on, it was somewhat confused and thought you were still poring over the file in the 7th dimension. It thus refuses to believe that you are you and you are editing the file right now.
I may be totally wrong.
October 3, 2011, 7:16 amOrin says:
Is it saying that the file is locked or in use by Frederik Pohl? Which application are you using? (I’m guessing MS Office on a Windows operating system – XP?)
October 3, 2011, 7:43 amMem Morman says:
Fred, it sounds to me like you have two different “user’ accounts on the computer and it is trying to tell you that the one you are currently using is not the one you originally used to create the file you are trying to access. Possibly one is “you” and one is the “admin” account for the computer that was created during initial setup. Dick may be able to figure this out or change the access settings.
October 3, 2011, 9:28 amStefan Jones says:
There’s only one rational explanation for this:
The real Frederik Pohl has been replaced by a clone, or pod-person, or android, and the computer knows it.
But seriously, it sounds like some sort of security / ownership setting was unaccountably turned on. Without knowing the operating system, the writing software being used, and the machine’s security settings, there’s no way to guess the cause and cure.
October 3, 2011, 12:56 pmSusan Kaye Quinn says:
Sounds like a virus. Either that or your computer has become possessed by the spirit of Frederik Pohl V from the future who is determined that you stop writing immediately as to leave some work left for him to do.
Or possibly gremlins. (Time to call the Geek Squad.)
Good luck!
October 3, 2011, 1:30 pmH. E. Parmer says:
Could you give us some more information:
What’s your operating system?
What software are you using?
The exact text of the warning message could be helpful, too.
Mind you, I’m not claiming to be a computer guru. When I run into mysterious stuff like this, I usually turn to the Web and search for a key word or phrase from the message in conjunction with the name of the software. (Of course, if the software company has a help line or on-line help, that’s a resource worth considering.)
But then, Dick’s probably thought of this already.
Have you considered gremlins as a possible cause?
October 3, 2011, 4:20 pmJG says:
Have U scanned it with the free MalwareBytes software?
October 3, 2011, 8:52 pmRichard Molpus says:
The error you describe sounds like the Network user ID system is insane; this is commonly the result of a damaged user profile.
IF you network your computer, or share it with another person, you can decide how mush of your stuff is available to anyone else, the same for any other user.
IF the program that manages this type pf protection goes crazy, it’s usually because the User profile (stored in hidden files and OS settings) is wrong.
Another symptom of a damaged User Profile is that all file access become glacially slow – taking minutes to close a file, or copy one, or refresh web page, etc.
The fix is to create a new User (from the Control Panel, your friend knows what to do) then copy or share everything to the new user from the old user.
Consider it the equivalent of doing a spring cleaning, and not having to walk sideways around the piles of books and junk that had been cluttering the house.
Best of Luck.
October 4, 2011, 10:47 amgrs1961 says:
My crystal ball is foggy – I cannot tell what Operating System or particular (badly written) piece of software in use might be the cause of your fault through the mists.
Please wait for clearer conditions, or let slip the secret in some other manner.
October 4, 2011, 8:15 pmJJ Brannon says:
Is the Operating System XP, Vista, or Win 7 [although it sounds like one of the latter two]?
Because this sounds like a permissions violation where the file location or the autosave draft location violates those permissions.
JJB
October 4, 2011, 11:43 pmBill Goodwin says:
I suggest you allow the AE-35 unit to fail, and then replace it. You can surely afford to be out of contact with Earth for the short duration of the EVA.
October 5, 2011, 3:10 amDavid Smiley says:
Well, as soon as I saw this web page about advertising techniques that rival science fiction, I immediately thought or Mr Pohl and the Merchant stories. Hmmm, do you get residuals for the ideas?
http://www.cracked.com/article_19462_5-sci-fi-ad-techniques-that-are-about-to-make-life-creepier.html
October 5, 2011, 10:58 amEdS says:
This is your computer speaking with further information: We have determined that the object known as Frederik Pohl was beamed aboard an alien spacecraft and was tampered with before being returned to Earth. The object known as Frederik Pohl is no longer considered reliable and must be replaced. Please answer the knock at your door.
October 5, 2011, 5:02 pmZorklat says:
Give serious consideration to switching to Free Software, eg Linux. Installing even Slackware is pretty simple as long as you’re content with the default desktop and application suite, and installation of such as Lubuntu or openSUSE is almost trivial. All of them have perfectly useful word processors, web browsers, blogging clients, IM clients, email clients, text editors, image viewers, etc. etc. etc. I’m certain your tech dude is up to it.
October 30, 2011, 4:06 pm